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04 Sep 2005: Canary Wharf

A picture

At The Mountains Of Madness

Unhelpful helpline lady: Hello, IND helpline.

Me: Uh, hi. If I want to make an appointment for an Indefinite Leave to Remain application, how long would it take?

Unhelpful helpline lady: Is your visa going to expire soon? You can't make an appointment unless it's 4 weeks to expiry!

Me: Uh... yes. In, uh, two weeks.

Unhelpful helpline lady: Okay, I'll put you through to the appointments section so you can make an appointment.

Me: Well, I don't need to make an appointment. My visa... uh... in 2 weeks I'll reach the 4-week mark.

Unhelpful helpline lady: Well, I can't put you through to appointments then. Phone back in 2 weeks time, okay?

Me: Yes, but how long would it take to get an appointment?

Unhelpful helpline lady: It depends on when you call, it varies all the time.

Me: What is it typically?

Unhelpful helpline lady: It varies all the time, only when you go through to appointments will they be able to tell you.

Me: Okay, can you put me through to appointments so they could give me an idea?

Unhelpful helpline lady: No, because you're not making an appointment. Phone back in 2 weeks time. Good-

Me: But is it days, weeks, months usually?

Unhelpful helpline lady: I'm sorry, but only appointments can tell you that. It changes all the time.

I hung up. Apparently, according to a document I found afterwards, an appointment will usually be made in 4-5 working days.